How to Beat Emotional Weight Gain: Part Two
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Once you have decided that weight loss is something you truly desire and you have identified your reasons, then the next step is to manage the language you use in your own self-talk about it. In addition to the chronic conditions we are all aware of, weight loss and lifestyle change can help improve knee and joint problems, sleep apnea, metabolic syndromes, fertility problems, memory, reduce the risk for Alzheimer’s, your self image and confidence, decrease chances of depression and anxiety, lower the risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes and the list goes on. Remember, even small changes can equal big results. Most weight loss habits are actually overall health gaining habits.
I changed my language and I started watching what my slimmer and healthier friends did. I almost started to walk in their shadow. I started to shop for groceries like a slim person did. I dressed and walked the way slim people did, bought track suits and sneakers though I was not sure what exercise I was going to do. I decided I had to act the part. Fake it before I made it. Behave and think like a slim and healthy woman listen to my body and feel in harmony with it, in order to become one myself.
I performed an easy NLP technique on myself called “parts-integration” where I was able to establish congruency between all my “parts”.
Without meaning to trivialize the issue, I used to feel that I had conflicting parts. A part of me wanted to eat like a glutton and another part of me wanted to be slim. Through NLP, I was able to merge the parts in the knowledge that all parts of me wanted the same thing for me – joy, peace and harmony. I also came to the realization that I was often trying to fit in, people around me, especially family like to 'feed' us and feel that is the only way to express love and care, so I had to be willing to stand up for what I wanted for myself, even if it meant upsetting my friends or family. Soon they accepted that I had chosen my lifestyle.
Then came the bigger question, what would give me that peace? In this regard, I was able to establish that the eating was only going to give me momentary gratification or pleasure, while the dropping a dress size was hooked to so many other feelings of well-being and joy.
I knew that achieving that would help me feel more confident and look better. I know that a lot of my daily frustration lay in trying to select something to wear twice a day and then looking at myself in the mirror, breathing my tummy in and still feeling extremely upset at the way I looked. I would have to change several times till I found something that looked the least fattening. Just the thought of being able to get rid of this frustration was enough of a motivation for me.
I got to the bottom of WHY I wanted to drop a size – to FEEL good about myself everyday. That was what made it easy to change my lifestyle. The other very important NLP suggestion is to phrase the goal in the positive.
Using positive language and NLP
The human brain does not want to 'lose' anything, not even weight. So, affirming that you want to lose weight, will not have the same power as saying instead, 'I fit in a size 6' or 'I am a 45kgs'. I started to visualise myself in 'slim-clothes' and looking great. The vision I had of myself in my mind’s eye was like a magnet for me. I guess I am vain. When looking at the seven deadly sins, I realized too that my biggest 'sin' Vanity is what saves me from my tendency towards 'gluttony'.
The instant I made the decision, everything that used to seem so difficult and tiresome, became so easy to do. Very soon after, shopping and cooking healthy for myself and committing time everyday to exercise became a habit. I started thinking, acting and being slim.
I dropped 2 dress sizes or 8kilos in that time. I am very happy with my accomplishment. This feels more like a benchmark of my strength and discipline to me than anything else I have done in my life.
So, reword your relationship with your weight and with your body. Love it today as it is and commit to a lifestyle that will bring you in total harmony. Remember you are a whole being, body, thoughts, mind and language. Integrate all your parts and start thinking and acting slim.
Be kind to yourself. Choosing to shed some kilos is not a punishment. It is a lifestyle change for the better. You are changing the way you have always operated, thought and behaved.
Malti Bhojwani is the founder of Multi Coaching International, a Life Coach, an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner, a workshop leader and an author. Her first published work is a Journal to encourage guided writing, Thankfulness, Appreciation, Gratitude – My Journal is available in all good book stores.