Life Coach Advice: What Are You Resisting?
*Image courtesy: © Thinkstock photos/ Getty Images
What is it that you are resisting? Are you procrastinating something? Exercise, health check, changing your eating habits? With breast cancer awareness campaigns going rampant, have you taken heed? When was the last time you went for a check-up? Or are you actually resisting a specific outcome, a particular set of events, or a certain feeling? In other words, there is something that you do not want to feel or have happen. In order to prevent this feeling or circumstance, you then put your energy into controlling it.
Remember the Law of Attraction - like energy attracts like energy. If you resist looking at something or feeling anything, it just creates the need for you to look at this or feel this over and over, again. If I asked you now to not think of a blue ball, what do you do? The first image conjured up in your mind is that of a blue ball! I am not saying that by resisting a check up you are attracting cancer, what I am saying is that by resisting it, it will subconsciously be taking up more “space” in your mind than you care to acknowledge, leaving little space for more desirable stuff.
Resistance says that you have stored energy. You have saved this energy by saying "anything but _____________." The __________ must continue to come into your awareness because you are putting attention on it. A close friend of mine swore she would never marry a “Virgo” man after dating only Virgo men in her 20s and 30s, guess who she ended marrying?
It is like going in to see a nutritionist and thinking the whole time to yourself, that I will give up ANYTHING he wants me to, except this one thing, for example - "chocolate" - Ask me to give up anything, but chocolate...and then coming out realising, it was that one thing that we are so attached to that is the "it". This is the one thing that will make all the difference.
One of Wayne Dyer's classic teachings goes something like: If you squeeze an orange, what do you get? The answer, of course, is orange juice, and the point is that when you squeeze something, what comes out is its essence.
What are you resisting in your relationships? Love and relationships will squeeze everything out of you. Are you made of anger, jealousy and neediness, or are you made of love, acceptance and patience? Do you deny your real feelings? Sondra Ray once said that love brings up anything unlike itself. That means that in the presence of unconditional love, which is what relationships are supposed to be based on, all one's demons surfaces. All that which we resist, comes up.
They say relationships = relating with another. Being in an intimate relationship is the only place we get to learn about ourselves and grow as human beings.
In the second "Star Wars" movie, Yoda tells Luke Skywalker that he needs to confront his biggest fear. Luke enters a dark cave with his trusty light saber, ready to fight demons or Darth Vader. Luke's biggest fear awaits him at the end of the cave: a mirror that reflects his image. That's what LOVE is — the mirror that reflects the inner demons.
See my website for the Jigsaw Puzzle Visualization Audio.
When we try to deal with things like grief, depression, anger, jealousy, envy and all of those taboo things that we aren't 'supposed to' admit that we have in this society... we tend to hide and resist. Carl Jung's perspective would be to go inside that feeling and explore it rather than try to sweep it under the carpet or cover it up with Prozac or whatever the latest drug is.
Resisting is as natural to the human being as waking up in the morning. It could be defined as fighting against or responding negatively to something in life. Most importantly, we tend to resist all those things about ourselves that we don’t want to see. Generally, we do this without being aware, by resisting the behaviour or appearance of those around us. People resist going for health checks out of fear that something could be wrong. They think ignorance is bliss, in this modern day and age of medicine, I think ignorance is stupidity.
We might also refer to resistance as pushing our comfort zone - creating fear and then resistance, usually manifested by going into drama and chaos, sending us into survival mode. Where we do what we think we have to just to stay above the water. Whereas the only way out of the woods, is to accept that which we so strongly have tried to resist and to stop kicking and screaming. Breathe and accept.
My invitation for you this week is to look at what you have been resisting in your life, it could be the “list of things to do” in which some things keep getting postponed. Identify three of these things, bite the bullet and schedule them in today. You will feel so light and good after that.
I had been resisting my annual dental and gynecologist visit and this week, I did it all. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I am free to focus on the stuff I truly want to do instead.
So what are you resisting?
Malti Bhojwani is the founder of Multi Coaching International, a Life Coach, an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner, a workshop leader and an author. Her first published work is a Journal to encourage guided writing, Thankfulness, Appreciation, Gratitude – My Journal is available in all good book stores.