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Complete health is not just achieved by a healthy diet and fitness regime, but it also involves being connected spiritually, having a sense of community and being able to express your love and creativity, single or not. Tender loving care is a valuable element in healing and staying well. Friends, family and a good social network is essential to all of us. “Single people with good support do not differ significantly from married ones with good support (in fact the married counterparts trend toward being a bit less satisfied),” says social psychologist Bella DePaulo. Here are three coaching view-points to help you be a healthy and happy single:
You are Not alone
Build a strong network of people who care about you. Often, singles feel lonely and disconnected, which affects their day-to-day lives. They believe that the only way to get their emotional needs met is through a partner.
Yet your needs can be met by so many others who are already in your life. Scroll through social networking sites and your phone book and reconnect with your old friends by reaching out to them. Seek out how you can contribute to their lives, instead of wondering what they can give you. Never explain or justify being single; be proud of your physical, financial and emotional independence.
Add one form of physical movement – exercise or dance to your day. Decide now to commit to an hour a day. Form a group of people to take classes with, be it at a gym or a dance class. Move your body, it needs to feel the joy of movement.
Make Up Your Mind
We have all made decisions in advance about life and how we would react when faced with certain situations. Some of these “advanced-decisions” are great at keeping us on track. Deciding in advance will just make it easier to choose when we are faced with temptation.
If you are holding on to excess weight, make the decision to let it go. Deciding that the weight has served its purposed in the past and now it is time to let go of it together with the emotional weight you have been carrying is the first step.
Decide in advance how much you are going to drink and eat based on your commitment to your looks and your health, when you are faced with the “offer” for example desert or a menu with options of the creamy pasta vs. the steamed fish, your decision will already have been made.
When you have decided to walk for an hour every day, it makes it easier for you to stick to your commitment. Buy an extra pair of running shoes to leave in your car or in your office, so you never have an excuse. Make it easy and try to predict the possible roadblocks or excuses you may want to use to not do it and prepare for them.
Add Pleasure to Your Life
Many singles do without pleasure and self-care and focus all their energy on work thinking that only their accomplishments matter. Add simple pleasures to your day, perhaps a short drive, reading a book, a cream or cologne that smells good, listening to your favourite happy song.
When you are not “in pleasure”, you are “in pain”. Keep this in mind and see how many more hours a day you can be “in pleasure” rather than “in pain.” Your life right now is not a dress rehearsal for when you have a relationship. When you stop yourself from fun and adventure because you are single, you are doing a dishonor to yourself.
Be grateful for how lucky you are to have this time of pure selfishness to truly BE with yourself. Develop spiritual practices like meditating, centering and conscious breathing. Give yourself time every day to connect with your higher self and to go within. If you have never experienced what that feels like, try to be silent for a while and place your hand on your heart, feel the beat and see if you can even hear it. Becoming aware of your own heart-beat and breathing is a great way to experience “going-in”. That is being present. When you exercise, think about your breathing and focus on the body parts you are working.
Malti Bhojwani is the founder of Multi Coaching International, a Life Coach, an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner, a workshop leader and an author. Her first published work is a Journal to encourage guided writing, Thankfulness, Appreciation, Gratitude – My Journal is available in all good book stores.
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